Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
