ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
