we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
