happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
