so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
