Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize