Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
