Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
