She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
