Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
