She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
