K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
