There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
