the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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