I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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