just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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