He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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