Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
