Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
