If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
