so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
