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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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