somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
