Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
