Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Randomize
