so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
