everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
