69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
