in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
