it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
