And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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