dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
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