its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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