ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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