i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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