this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
