who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
