i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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