i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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