We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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