I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
