i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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