i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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