sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
