It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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