U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Moan for me like Helen Keller
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I need moral support for this bender
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
