Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
