You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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