i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i dont even know how to be here
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
