your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
