we're blogging at a bar
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
