I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Michael Bay diarrhea
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
