I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
