GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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