I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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