I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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