Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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