apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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