Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have feelings that need drinking.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
did you just send me my own nude
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
