Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
