while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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